Yesterday I took my last anti anxiety pill. A couple of months ago the plan was, see how I was for a couple of months without them and if ok, come off the pill and start trying to conceive. Instead as I’m now single when I talked to my doctor about stopping the anti anxiety medication, I also got a new prescription of the pill. It seems counterintuitive when I want to start a family. But if I do have one night stands and they stealth me or a condom slips off; I don’t want to put myself through taking the morning after pill.

With typical timing, a friend announced her pregnancy. It is bloody brilliant; a natural pregnancy after 9 years of trying for a natural pregnancy. Her first child was conceived by IVF and in last year she has had several failed IVF rounds over last year; gradually using up the embryos she had frozen; so I know it has not come easy. But it just sounds so perfect, she has just moved into new home abs now she is pregnant with second child. I moved into my second house weeks after breaking up with ‘Mr I don’t want kids’. Now 18months later, I have another failed relationship under belt and I’m no closer to having children despite currently looking pregnant. I do love my house though; it’s a family house though and I hope it to make it a proper family house.


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