Drunken antic cliché

Within a few days, of being single I went out with work colleagues. I started drowning sorrows away. I had thought we would be eating but colleagues had chosen somewhere that did not do food. I nearly managed to get self safely home ,but failed at last moment when got out of taxi with purse in hand but not handbag with house keys and phone in. On valentine’s day I had given my ex FOF my house key but of course ironically I had got him to give it back. Therefore, I had to go to a friend’s house and stop in their house that night.

One night stand

With someone I  had met before. After so long going to bed, with someone did not find attractive and not having sex; it was good to have sex again.

Sex with an Ex

After having sex again I wanted more! It ended up with my ex ex Mr I don’t want children. He came round to my house just for sex. It was so hot, because although we both wanted each other; he did not want kids. it was first time we had, had sex since we broke up. By the time he arrived we were desperate for each other; it was very tender yet animalistic need. Good to have the excitement of non routine ‘one off type’ sex with, someone familiar with, for example could trust to use condom. Whereas with new partner there can be nerves there particularly considering stealthing trend I wrote about in previous post. Plus I made it clear was just sex so it was no string, no worry stress. I know as he does not want kids then, we can not get back together, so I’m just happy to have got to use his body again. Fof’s body made me miss the slenderness of Mr I do not want children’s body. Also it is nice to have a good memory of Mr I do not want children’ after the horrible way it ended.

Conclusion

Some may think, I’m going off the rails but I’m trying best not to. The other week when I was out; I had no interest in men around; I did not want a one night stand; I wanted someone I knew to go home to. However, in meantime there is nothing wrong with wanting and getting sex.

I’m trying to do health and wellbeing activities like yoga and mediation. Unfortunately exercise, is limited due to sprained ankle. I’m now down to last couple of weeks of anti anxiety not ideal time to come off them when newly single and frustrated at not being able to exercise. Sometimes feeling bit sad at life not being how want / lonely as all friends are busy with partners and possibly kids too; like I want to be. But I have not being feeling anxious, so hopefully I can do it!

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