Following my last post where I had survived two sequential horrible Tuesdays; the first cruel reject from my ex the married cross dresser and the second redundancy; there has been some horrible points but some how it is December and I’m still going.
After my position ended, I had a month of not working (August), which was horrible. I spent a week of it moping at my parents. A week away with family in lakes when I was quite anxious and could not completely relax as had a presentation to prepare for an interview. I do not really know what else I did in August, but can not remember having much fun; as I was not earning and did not know when I would be earning I felt limited what I could do.
September – mid November I worked part time for minimum wage as a catering assistant. Mid November I started another part time role. I kept catering assistant role so I started by working 8 days in a row between the two jobs. I survived that. I had a reasonably productive day off. Then worked another three days. On the eve on the second day anxiety started creeping in, it intensified over the weekend off. Monday I barely functioned I had cereal in morning then did not eat again until persuaded by my Mum and I never dressed. I ended up not working at all that week. On the Monday not functioning included not having phone on and therefore not telling new employees that I was not coming in; not a good start to a new job!
I returned to work last week. Last week I felt quite low and my achievements other than getting to my two jobs were minimal. I picked up on Sunday and have felt better this week. Now on more even keel; I can push on to the end of the year!
I’m not happy with current work arrangement juggling two jobs, having to work some weekends and earning less than I did at the start of the year.
The anxiety and depression means it is not a good time to be trying to meet a man. I have been celibate since the incident with my ex the married cross dresser who, is now a divorcee.
I’m now 35. After starting the year in a relationship and with a “permanent” fulltime job neither of these are now true. I’m still childless.